posted @ aholyprivilege.blogspot.com
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There is the constant tug and pull, things I should do, things I want to do, things I have to do and putting them in order can be the crux of my day. The decisions linger right over my heart bringing me to a place where soul gravity pulls, my knees. It’s where I belong, it’s where I am at peace, it’s often what I fight. There is a crick and crackle as I bend, reminding me how I need this refreshment, this clarity, this place where the priority can fade and I can finally really prioritize. Simple. Jesus. The only thing that really matters. Life will come and go in all sorts of lists and tasks, but when it comes to what really matters, my heart knows, my soul knows, I just have to stop and see and choose… My Savior.
Do you ever feel the tug?
…I hope! I have missed blogging terribly and believe I am in a season that I can begin to incorporate it again. It could be the delusions of a sleep deprived mommy unable to go back to sleep after the 1 am feeding, but perhaps it is more.
This week I am contemplating our family mission statement. In my desire to have a better guideline for decision making I have decided that 2012 is the year to finally nail down that mission statement and start living it… now if the other 6 could get on bored we might be onto something.
It is only ten days until my guess date, the count down begins for the new baby to join us. While we wait and carry on with life I am able to reflect on the kindness of God and the gift of this pregnancy. His mercy evident every day I did not throw up; every day I could say “I feel great” and mean it; every day my belly stayed small and weight did not pour on; every day I have been able to prepare for showings of our home with minimal difficulty. What GRACE! With every trial I believe He produces Holiness, in this pregnancy He has produced gratitude. I am so very thankful for this gift. I am blessed.
Now if the labor and delivery would go so well…
when you never use it? I keep asking myself this. The only answer that I have is that I WANT to use it and enjoy it when I do.
Life won’t always be this busy and overwhelming (right?). Pregnancy always throws a loop into my routine and schedule. Time management goes out the door and survival settles in for the long haul and guilt settles right along with it. The kids watch way too many movies while I lay on the floor and groan, trying to keep down whatever I managed to get in my mouth before I laid down. They spend a lot of time alone while mom says, “I can’t do that right now.” It feels like a hardship, but I know it really isn’t. Fast food becomes a regular part of our day, since cooking and food prep can send me over the edge, not too mention standing too long makes me puke. Some days are better then others, but overall life stays simple, because I CAN’T do anything more than simple.
Unfortunately blogging does not land in that “simple” category. It takes time, energy, brain cells all of which I am short on these days.
And so I vent and give a small update, only to say you may not hear from me again until May of 2011 when our latest addition will be here and settled and hopefully my stomach will be too.