Until then

So, I can not for the life of me figure out how in the world to use this new blog site, so until this computer illiterate figures it out, 20 posts will have to wait.

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20 posts I have been meaning to post…

stay tuned, 20 posts in 20 days of all our recent adventures. it’s a good goal… wish me luck.

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And the Tears Fall and the Blessings Flow

Again last night I sat and cried, not that all out balling kind of cry, but that slow trickle of tears falling down a face subdued and heavy with emotion. I miss her. I never knew how much I would. I never realized I would feel such a loss. She is alive and well,  down south  now, soaking up the sun and humidity while fighting off the mosquitos. They play in the pool and pray to make it through the heat of the summer, I pray to make it through mine without her friendship. It is that typical “don’t know what you have until it’s gone” experience; she challenged me in so many ways, inspired me, and encouraged me, not to mention she always made me laugh, not an easy feat, but she managed and she did it without ever trying. She is amazing. I am a bit lonely. But, we are where God wants us. The emails ease some of the hurt, but the hurt reminds me of her absence and her absence reminds me to be thankful, to make the most of every moment, to savor friendship and wallow in the relations God has granted, to count the blessings,  and give my heart over to joy and gratefulness. So, I think of her, of raw milk, of coconut oil, and of blessings and how they flow and I rejoice in the current…

Trips: OK, swimming pools, his progress

Growing, changing, independence... Miracles

WY family

GG, cars, adventures

New Home

County Fair

County Fair

Joy Baby, my Abagail

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When life gets messy

Life is not clean. When you have four under five, life is not clean in the literal sense. When you are married to another sinner life gets messy in the “other” sense. It is not easy  to be humbled by a spouse nor is it easy to be wronged by him. But, when to very imperfect beings become one, their flesh gets all mushed together and their sin hearts pour out on each other and life gets messy, there is no way around it. Conflicts come, criticisms fly, hearts bleed out defensive words, and thoughts become sticky with vengeance and pain. Souls feel dirty with the chaos of unmet expectations and spirits become untidied with miscommunication and we begin to love doubt and flounder in the mess. Then God sends a balm.

“God the Father KNEW YOU and CHOSE YOU long ago, and his Spirit has made YOU HOLY! As a result you have obeyed him and have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ. May God give you more and more GRACE and PEACE!”  I Peter 1:2

He knows. He chose. He wants. He makes HOLY.

When life gets messy, He makes HOLY.

Rejoice in the mud and mire. It is not the end.

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Erased

Urban Barnyard has been erased. Somehow I managed to violate my terms of agreement and have now lost all of my posts. After mourning my loss (these posts are a journal of sorts), I decided a fresh start is not such a bad thing. Urban Barnyard didn’t really describe my life as I had once thought it would, God has lead in other directions over the last few years and barnyard life has not been the end result.

So, in starting a new blog I asked myself what is at the heart of life right now? And in one quick flash pictures of laundry, dishes, correction, medications, tube feedings, toys thrown about, meals, grocery lists, etc etc  came swarming my mind and then quietly this quote I read by Elizabeth Elliot:

“The story is told of three women washing clothes. A passerby asked each what she was doing. ‘Washing clothes’ was the first answer. ‘ A bit of household drudgery’ was the second. ‘ I’m mothering three young children, who one day will fill important and useful spheres in life, and wash day is part of my grand task in caring for these souls who shall live forever’ was the third. Ordinary work, which is what most of us do most of the time, is ordained by God every bit as much as the extraordinary. All work done for God is Spiritual work and therefor not merely a duty, but a holy privilege.”

This blog will be venting grounds of authenticity  as I learn to embrace my life, my holy privilege. Join me, bear with me, and excuse me,  as I let “it all hang out.”

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